119/365 - What a novel idea

In lieu of writing tonight, I'm going to read a book. My creative consciousness could use a little literary nourishment.

118/365 - Is it May yet?

I was really hoping my body would hold out a couple more weeks before I was punished for the overexertion of the past month.  Alas, I didn't quite make it to the glorious days of May before I got hit - that is if you don't already count my gawd-awful complexion, knotted shoulders, unexpected weeping, and repeated attempts to self-treat with red wine, chocolate, retail therapy, and The Notebook.

I just realized I become more like a normal woman when I'm stressed out.

117/365 - When are the fairies gonna visit?

The fairies haven't visited for a long time.  It could be because the mailbox is broken.  Or because there's a dead horse on their lawn.  Nah, I'm guessing they're probably just busy and away from home a lot.  Yeah, I'm sure that's it.

116/365 - Birthday Blessings

Including Facebook posts, text messages, voicemails, Emails and in-person greetings (no double-counting), my birthday wishes totaled 116 today....ironically enough, on my 116th blog post.

My mother, one of my sisters, and a dear friend wished that this next year would be the happiest and best of my life.  This is, of course, the final year of my thirties, so it could simply be the last hurrah before heading downhill fast.  Still, even with the promise of bifocals in the not so distant future, I don't take their common blessing lightly.  After all, I did receive it three times.  And as I've said before, it takes two times to notice and a third to smack you upside the head so you'll listen.

So, as my 39th birthday comes to a close, I listen.  I take only a little time to hear what I know is from my past, despite the many greetings that stirred up poignant memories today - some memories from long ago, some long forgotten, or some I wished had remained forgotten, and some long remembered, no matter how long ago they came to be.  Without much nostalgia, I tuck away those memories and listen some more.  And I smile....for there is joy in the expectation and longing, in the knowing and not knowing what life has in store for the future. 

115/365 - Bach vs. Salsa

Bach's B minor Mass is great and all, but I would have preferred donning my dancing shoes tonight.

114/365 - Behavior

In this house, the apples don't fall very far from the tree.

113/365 - Microwave experiment

This poor, flattened creature was once a cute animal made of clay and displayed proudly on my kitchen windowsill, a gift from one of my lovely children.  One of those lovely children also appears to have gotten a burst of scientific curiosity with the microwave earlier today, having recently heard me talking of such torture with Easter Peeps.  I should probably put a stop to such ideas.  There are live animals in the house after all.

112/365 - Working out

I gotta think I burned a few calories changing into my workout clothes.

{sigh}

There's always tomorrow...

111/365 - Blissful Center

I am starting to feel the stress of these past few months receding and can finally see the sweet slowness of summer just around the corner.  As I get older and hopefully a bit wiser, I have begun to realize that life is much like a pendulum, swinging from joyful seasons to harder times and then back again.  Contrary to what our culture tells us, I've discovered that I really don't need to strive for happiness or attempt to avoid suffering – Life has given me both in equal measure regardless of my efforts to shift the pendulum one way or the other.

The greater challenge is resting in the peaceful centeredness that is suspended between the highs and lows.  I’m learning to appreciate this blissful center more and more, which sometimes lasts only moments, but sometimes is a longer bridge over which I can lazily allow my thoughts and feelings to wander for a time.  It’s in this blissful center that I can truly appreciate the joy and gain some perspective forged by the sorrow that life inevitably brings.  It's as Khalil Gibran says, "Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.  Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced."

110/365 - Bus

The orchestra I'm performing with this weekend kindly charters a bus for the musicians commuting from the Ann Arbor area. We're heading north on US-23, traffic crawling forward thanks to Friday night rush hour and the rain. So much is great about the bus - saving on gas, resting my eyes, listening to music... But the best part, on nights like this, is getting a free pass when we end up arriving late for rehearsal.

109/365 - Magnets

Given the clutter on my fridge, it's no wonder a couple days went by before I noticed the new magnet covertly posted by my beau last week.

"You are unrepeatable. There is a magic about you that is all your own..." ~D.M. Dellinger

I caught sight of this for the first time as I was fumbling around making coffee one grumpy morning, and my day was rescued by this one little thoughtful gesture. I've come to learn that thoughtful gestures are my beau's speciality. It wasn't that long after that I saw another quote:

"The strength of a man's virtue should not be measured by his special exertions, but by his habitual acts." ~Blaise Pascal

I am a lucky girl, indeed, to be loved by a man as virtuous as he.

108/365 - Counterpoint

I needed tonight's Brahms Requiem to cleanse my palate after last Saturday's John Williams feast.

107/365 - Graduate deadline

I've written more Emails and letter texts the past few days than intended posts for this blog. Next stop: May 1 - Undergraduate deadline and a light at the beginning of summer!

106/365 - Sunday

1 day until the graduate deadline + pirate party + 3 tired kids + home declared a disaster zone + yoga + love via Skype

105/365 - Saturday

2 days until the graduate deadline + 24 cupcakes + 1 happy girl + far too many pieces by John Williams on one concert + more love from my chauffeur

104/365 - Friday

3 days until the graduate deadline + 3-hour rehearsal + 1 1/2-hour drive both ways + love from my chauffeur

103/365 - Hermia and me

I once played the role of Hermia in Shakespeare's comedy, A Midsummer Night's Dream. Hermia - spoiled and privileged Hermia, who was not at all used to being ill-used or left to fend for herself - finds herself alone and exhausted in the middle of the woods at the end of Act 3.

With a full-time job, three precocious kids, and many nights and weekends spent free-lancing as an orchestral musician, I often recall that moment when Hermia calls it a day, especially on days like I had today...

Never so weary, never so in woe,

Bedabbled with the dew and torn with briers,

I can no further crawl, no further go;

My legs can keep no pace with my desires.

Here will I rest me till the break of day.

Heavens shield Lysander, if they mean a fray!

Only as I drift off to sleep now, I end up praying, "heavens shield my kids, 'ere I throttle them in the fray." Good thing I love the little buggers - and everything else I do.

102/365 - Reframing

Only two more sleeps, and coffee will be that much more appreciated in the meantime.

101/365 - Gah!

It is April.

100/365 - Ahoy, matey!

My kids have been invited to a pirate-themed birthday party on Sunday. They couldn't wait to begin work on their costumes tonight when I told them that would be part of the fun. It's definitely a work in progress, but I think we're off to a good start.

Each kid, as to be expected, brings his or her own unique flair. I'm hoping Quinn will let me draw on a handlebar mustache, and do you suppose hip hop-pink pirate Lucy can get away with an eye patch too? Oh, and remind me to tell Sophie about the pirate setting on Facebook. You should check it out too.

Arrr, This be pleasin' to me eye!

99/365 - Summer in the U.P.

Every time I come across this picture, I revisit the little piece of heaven I experienced last summer at the northern most tip of Michigan, right on Lake Superior. The peace is tangible when I contemplate returning there this July to play for the same music festival and hopefully luxuriate in some of the same sunsets. This trip up north is more than just a vacation for me - It is a rare and cherished respite from my usual responsibilities and a promise to be nourished by music and nature alike. And to think that someone is paying me for that opportunity... Hard work indeed.

98/365 - Les Miserables, the Musical or Les Miserables, the Opera?

I first saw Les Miserables in college - I won't tell you when that was in proximity to the opening of the musical that is now its 27th production year - the second longest-running musical in the world. I had the opportunity to revisit this show again last night with my beau and his daughter, both of whom were seeing Les Mis for the first time. On our way home, as we bandied about the show's many merits and its fewer though obvious weaknesses, we ended up taking a more introspective look at the show's continued popularity among the general public.

Wikipedia tells us that critical reviews of the London opening of Les Mis were negative, and "literary scholars condemned the project for converting classic literature into a mere musical." Public opinion offered an entirely different response - and continues to do so.

I would bet that one of the reasons Les Mis is so appealing to the masses is that it bridges the gap between "mere musical" and the less accessible, oft-perceived lofty art form, opera. A guy might be classified among his peers as "cultured" if he loves Les Mis, whereas being a fan of Carousel or A Chorus Line could very well put his sexuality in question. Just as an example, of course. And one can be cultured without having to sit through, oh say, Wagner's 18-hour Ring Cycle. Just as an example, of course.

I would also purport this is why Les Mis annoys the critics and professionals in both camps - Its dramatic story and operatic qualities deign it to be more than a musical, but opera doesn't want to claim it for its "mere musical" attributes either. If you take away what Les Mis might or might not be trying to be, it holds tremendous value it for what it is - an impressive artistic endeavor to portray the triumph of the human spirit and the timeless power of redemption and love. You don't have to be in one camp or the other to appreciate that.

97/365 - Friday, a cinquain

Friday

Frenzy at work

Martinis at Mercy's

Latin Jazz Concert with my beau

And boy!

96/365 - Birthday girl

Nine years ago today, this sweet, sensitive, inquisitive, and imaginative girl came into the world. The meaning of her name, Sophie Jane, is "wise gift from God" - and that she is.

How lucky am I that I get to be her mom?

Happy Birthday, my girl! You are a treasure indeed.

95/365 - Not my typical Wednesday

I don't remember the last time I took a 4-hour nap. Or baked cookies. I'm a little out of sorts.

94/365 - Topolobambo

Holy mole, that was good!

93/365 - CCC stands for Creativity x 3

My kids are spending their spring break this week at CCC, the daycare center where they have spent their last few summers off school. It's also where my twins went to preschool. CCC is a very special place, where families from all sorts of backgrounds, beliefs and socio-economic experiences are welcome, where kids are embraced and encouraged to be who they are as individuals - especially if they're "different."

CCC is a magical place, and I confess it took some stretching on my part to believe in it at first. It may not appear so on the outside, at least in terms of what most parents might be looking for in a daycare center that provides a pristine play place and super-structured schedules. Instead, CCC's magical qualities come from the care and creativity it offers, and its perfection exists in imaginations of each and every child that attends, because that's what CCC really knows how to nurture.

92/365 - Hiatus

I've decided to take a break from the blog. It's just been too hard to keep up with writing lately, with everything I have going on. I've not had any time to myself, work is killing me right now, and I'm a major stressball. I'd rather be able to veg in front of the TV every now and then instead of worrying about what to write every night. Who knows, maybe I'll pick it up again when things calm down after April fools.