Conflict makes me sad. I like to think of myself as a peacemaker, but I have to admit I'm not all that great at resolving conflicts. I think that's why I tend to back off when I'm facing a contentious issue. It's been my experience that most attempts to communicate unpleasant feelings - even with the intention of resolution - usually just opens the door for a lot of pent-up frustrations to come flying out. When that happens, I usually come out of the situation feeling a bit shell-shocked and more distant than when I went in.
That's what it was like in my marriage - there wasn't a lack of effort to resolve the conflicts between me and my ex-husband. There was simply so much damage done in the process of coming to any sort of agreement, that I eventually ended up weighing the amount of collateral damage that would have to be waged for the price of peace.
Does it make me a coward that I would choose my own peace over the preservation of a relationship?
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