25/365 - Big Brother

That's me and my big brother, Clif. My family and I still call him C.R., which was his childhood nickname. Every first-born male on my dad's side of the family was named Clifton as far back as anyone can remember, and every one of them had a nickname that stuck with the family long after they felt grown up enough to be called "Clif."

The Clifton Perrymans of the world are some of the best men I know...devoted and loving husbands, awesome dads, faithful men of God, loyal friends, and dedicated stewards to their community. My brother, who was born Clifton Robert on this day forty years ago, follows in the family's footsteps and reputation quite naturally, and my nephew, Chip (Clifton John), is going to have some pretty big shoes to fill someday.

I'm guessing C.R. doesn't know I admire him as much as I do. That's probably in part because, although we were inseparable as kids, we were always getting each other in trouble - Well, mostly I was getting him in trouble. Plus I was the annoying younger sister that always tagged along with his friends, or pitched a fit every time I had to do his paper route, or he had to drive me to dance class, or I was snotty to his girlfriend...

Now that we're older, I see how he's become such an honorable man, yet even though I'm confident in the woman I've become, I sometimes feel like he just sees me as the bratty sister who's flying in the face of family tradition all the time. I'm sure this is because I'm still a bit jealous of the pride I see in my father's eyes when he and my brother are together - not that I'm especially proud to admit this. But I reveal this because I've learned that bringing age-old unspoken battles into the light sometimes allows peace and healing to come into a relationship. Not always, but sometimes. Maybe I'm just realizing I don't have to be the sullen second sister anymore, vying for my parents' approval. I can simply be who am and commend my brother for who he is. He is certainly worthy of the esteem, and it's about time I grew up and told him.

I think I will...

Happy birthday, C.R.! I'm sorry I've been such a bratty sister. I really think you're the best big brother a girl could have, and I sure do love you!

Your sister forever - whether you like it or not,

~Em