178/365 - Navel gazer no longer

A birthday present to my newly single and somewhat thinner self several years ago, my belly button piercing was a whimsical symbol of my newfound personal freedom.  It also became a touchstone for my personal fitness, though even with a regular ab workout and low-carb diet, I've always been self-conscious about displaying it in public.  Still, I liked having it as a reminder of my youthful, some might say "willful" spirit.

This past weekend, I was asked to remove all of my jewelry, belly button ring included, for a fairly routine medical procedure.  Standing in the changing room after the exam, I had the opportunity to take a good long look at myself in the mirror without any adornments.  No belly button ring.  No Victoria's Secret push-up bra.  No flattering black pants.  Not even a flattering hospital gown.  Normally I would have preferred to get blood drawn over seeing myself naked in a full-length mirror under fluorescent lights, but this time, for whatever reason, I gave myself permission to take a fair and honest look.  And, strangely, I wasn't inclined to criticize.

I saw, in that reflection, a strong body that has borne and nursed my three beautiful children...a body that comes alive dancing and practicing yoga and that communicates love with passion and great expression...a body that has quite elegantly weathered, I humbly say, all that life has thrown my way.  I even looked forgivingly, maybe for the first time, at the soft belly that was no longer trying to belong to a younger, more carefree version of myself.  I liked what I saw, even as I admitted it was far from society's ideal physical form.  I wondered for a moment if it was just a skinny mirror, and then my next thought was, "I am now closer to forty than I am to thirty-nine." 

Rumor has it that everything goes to pot after forty.  I've decided I'm not going to buy into that.  I think most people just freak out about getting older and dying, and they either give up and quicken that process or they fight like the devil trying to defy the inevitable.  Personally, I'd rather glide through my life and however much may be left of it, accepting each stage as gracefully as I possibly can.  I would imagine that forgiveness contributes greatly to graceful ways, no matter what stage of life you're in.  That and an abundance of skinny mirrors.  And less time gazing at one's own navel, adorned or not.